Why I Still Believe...

I was going to invest a series of in attacking the injustice in the world, but I have been in numerous conversations with intellectuals and activists that demand an answer about my faith. There questions and probing and ultimate attempts at proselytizing me to turn my back on my faith and the hope of glory. 

The trend among young intellectuals is to reject a faith that does not include the marginalize. I echo many of their concerns with the direction of the church in the western world. The church that is so distracted and dysfunctional that it has exchanged its call to love for anger and hatred; righteousness for being right; spiritual warfare for blind allegiance to earthly government. I am well aware of the ignorance that the church has fallen in love with. Majoring severely in the minor things and missing every opportunity to learn and serve and lead the world to the Savior. To my young activists of color, I know Christianity's link to the vileness of the empire runs deep. That they have justified the enslavement of our ancestors and justified the raping and pillaging of multiple continents through the lens of Christianity. I know the violence of the empire is undeniable and I know the legacy of Christianity walking hand in hand with the violence. As a black male, the burning crosses are singed in my psyche. The rationalizing of hatred of difference races or gays and lesbians...has been laid at the feet of idea of faith.

My response to all of it, I believe in Christ, I believe the Bible as the Word of God, because the more I study it--the more I am challenged and pushed to grow. My relationship with the Bible and with people who call themselves Christian has been hard and complex. Just an example of my angst posted after the Charleston Tragedy:

So, I have been quiet...I have prayed and cried and prayed and cried and know now that I cannot be silent anymore. America...doing what you have always done and expecting different results is insulting and the very definition of insanity. Safety is not my concern. I have always known...I will always know that I am not safe. I am not safe to be black, Christian, filled with hope, sobered by reality, heartbroken for this world. I know that I am not safe and what I am called to do is ultimately dangerous, but I choose to not live in fear. I said in the past, "I am tired...I am so tired. I am tired of the message on repeat that my life does not matter. I am tired of feeling like a stranger in a strange land in my own home. My anger has boiled over to just exhaustion. I am tired. I am tired of not being able to explain my hurt without being called foolish or a race baiter or divisive. Dammit I am distraught...and there seems to be no relief." I am still tired, I am still broken, I am still gobsmacked by what happened in Charleston. I do not believe that the perpetrator was a mere sycophant, a mere mentally ill man. This young man was cold, calculated and planned his attack and thus is a symptom of white supremacy. White supremacy believes that their position is constantly under attack. But, it is only under attack because it continues to choose to abuse those that don't look like it. It is toxic and is bred in too many young men and women (He was 20). This supremacy refuses to believe that there is noone else but it in the world. But here is the problem...Here is the real tragedy of it all. How many times can we/you see violence, experience injustice, taste the bitter pill of tragedy until we make change!? How much more? Oh...I used to not know the answer...but the answer is inescapable. We will continue eat tragedy for breakfast with our morning coffee. Devour pain and anguish with a racist, classist, homophobic glaze for lunch. Serve up chaos and ignorance for dinner. ALL DAY EVERY DAY. Change takes courage and the mythos of freedom has made us soft and lazy. We continue to eat crap like we are in Human Centipede 3 and enjoy it. In the end, I have unplugged from the matrix. I refuse to be desensitized. I refuse to remain silent. God has given me a voice and I will use it for justice, righteousness and love. I forgive him, because he does not know what he does. I pray fervently for those that are broken. I pray for those who are lost. I pray that God awakens His Church to do more than cry and become His hands and feet.

Brian Zahnd, a very insightful pastor wrote blog about his issues with the Bible. (http://brianzahnd.com/2014/02/problem-bible/) I have many of the same issues, but my perspective is very different because of being part of the disenfranchised. My conflict with the Bible is similar to question posed to Howard Thurman while he was on a trip to India in the late 1930s, "I am a Hindu. I do not understand. Here you are in my country, standing deep with the Christian faith and tradition. I do not wish to seem to be rude to you. But, sir, I think you are a traitor to all the darker peoples of the earth. I am wondering what you, an intelligent man, can say in defense of your position." (Jesus and the Disinherited, pg 19). This conversation with this Hindu man birthed one of the most powerful books written about Jesus and justice, Jesus and the Disinherited. This book continues to shape my perspective on Justice and Faith.

Jesus was not a member of the empire. He could not have been a member of the empire because he came to subvert the empire. I believe wholeheartedly in the potential that the Bible expresses. I believe wholeheartedly in the hope that the Bible shares and that Jesus brought into the world. I believe because it keeps me from acting out of line. It gives me safety in a world where I am not safe. 

I pray that the church, the bride of Christ, falls more and more in love with Him. The more we fall in love Jesus, the King of Glory, the Prince of Peace, the less we can love and remain in love with the empire. I pray that we will forever be followers Christ first, lovers of people, and whatever imperial banners we fly...way...way...somewhere down the list.

Happy New Year, Be Blessed.

Ernest